Yesterday I yelled at my four-year-old. Screamed really. With gusto.

It wasn't a fair fight.

The details of how the scenario came about are insignificant compared with the broader phenomenon. (That is to say, I blew up at him because of a slinky.)

When my platform of politeness, self-control, dignity, and maturity shuddered a touch, it gave way to anger -- under which was fear of loss, probably under which was actual unrelated loss. I could see the same anger, fear, and sadness in my sons eyes even as the scene unfolded. Looking back on it later, I felt as though I had kicked a kitten.

Perhaps there are parents who do not identify with losing their cool with their kids. Perhaps there are some who hold it together 99.9% of the time (or who at least appear to hold it together). Yet I'm sure we all move through the parenting years with different styles. I talked with a f...

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